Just before my birthday, God send you back to me. You are the best gift ever.

Please be my soulmate.

My reason to be happy.

My morning kiss.

My more beautiful smile.

But the most important, please be the person who is going to be with me forever.

Please don’t leave me again mi amor.

I have been looking for you all my life.

And I will be lost without you.

Please be my princess forever.

I promise i will guard you and take care of you for the rest of our life.

Te amo mi princesa hermosa.

Te amo mucho.

Estar conmigo para siempre.

~ Love poem by young Latino for his lovely princess ~

Are you a quite type of person that seldom express your own feeling to someone else ?

I  was. And it was kinda bothering me all this time.

The reasons i did that because i am an easy going person and i thought that it was ok for me, which turned to be the contrary.

I liked to make other people happy first without considering my own, even though that made me uncomfortable sometimes.

I seldom told people how my feeling was, which made them did not know how the situation really was. They thought i was fine with it.

My friends said i was too nice. And people tend to use me for their advantages.

At one point i got tired of it.

Tired of people asking me did things that they wanted.

Tired of when things went unexpected i was just silent and let it happened.

Tired of miscommunication happened because i did not tell people what i thought or i wanted.

Then i start to express my thoughts and my feelings to people for the things that are not right for me.

Some of them gave me good results as i expected, and some did not.

But it is ok, it does not matter to me, as long as i am comfortable with it.

And i dont have to put myself after other people needs or wants most of the time.

It is good to be selfish sometime. I live my life happier than before.

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.” ~ Steve Jobs ~

Last night i watched the last episode of Sex and The City, the one when Carrie moves to France because of her Russian’s boyfriend Alex.

For some reasons, she gets lonely without Alex, which is so busy preparing his museum opening. Carrie has to do most of the activities alone, without her boyfriend accompany her, and also without her three loyal besties that she left them in New York City.

With her being new in Paris, she finds some new friends that actually the fans of her book which is already published there too. Her new friends plan to make a special party for Carrie because they adore her so much.

Just before Carrie goes to the party, suddenly Alex gets nervous about his museum opening that he should attend it. He is afraid that there will be something not running well as expected. Carrie finally chooses Alex to accompany him to his event instead of attending her own party.

And when she comes to her party made by her new friends, she is already too late. There is no one there, left only her book being abandoned in the table. Seems that her new friends are very disappointed of her.

Watching that episode makes me wondering about myself, about how i am treating my friends all this time. Have i done well enough for my friends that are loyal to me ?

Friends that always be there for me whenever i need them.

Friends that always say the truth to me no matter how bad the situation is.

Friends that always give their shoulders and hug me whenever i cry.

Friends that always take care of me whenever i get ill.

Friends that always encourage me whenever i am down.

Friends that always catch me whenever i am fall.

Friends that always be on my side whenever i get hurt.

And last but not least, Friends that always forgive me whenever i hurt them.

So I start to call them one by one, the true friends that always stay for me.

Keep contact with them. Meet them or visit them when available.

Lend them my hands if they need me. Show them that i care.

Because in the end, i wanna be like Carrie who has three besties, Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte, which are always waiting for her to come back to New York City.

“A friend is the one who comes in when the whole world has gone out.” ~ Grace Pulpit ~

 

Last Saturday i woke up with my shoulders pain and stiff neck.

I could not even move my neck and could not turn my head to the left also to the right easily.

So i went to the doctor and she said i got cervical pain or neck pain.

There are many factors can cause the neck pain.

Some of them are carrying heavy bag only by one side, in my case with my right arm. Or sleeping with my neck in a bad position. Also i rarely do exercise to keep me healthy nowadays.

Then i need to get some treatments for neck pain which are ice and heat therapy, exercise, stretching, physical therapy and pain medication.

The therapy will take a week, it means i have to go to the hospital every day for a week.

During my therapy and medication, i just realized that i have not taken a good care of my body all this time. It took me a neck pain to realize it.

With my attending to the hospital for a week, i saw many ill people and suddenly it open my eyes that health is very important and i should not ignore it like i did before.

I promised to myself, after i get better i will start exercise in gym again, doing a healthy diet, also yoga for my peace of mind.

Doing exercise in the gym, is not just for social purpose, but more to get a healthy body.

Doing a healthy diet, is not just for losing weight, but more to get a healthy shape.

Doing yoga, is not just because it is trending, but more to get happiness and a peace of mind.

Love yourself enough to live a healthy lifestyle.

Last night, my good friend contacted me on fb. He asked me to do a favor for him.

It is kinda odd, because usually i am the one who is bugging him asking for his help.

This morning he had a flight from Jakarta to Sumatra, going to visit his home town with his family.

With the plane crashed events happening more nowadays, he was afraid that his plane would be crashed too.

So if it happens, he asked me to pass his messages to a girl he met online, whom he talked to for quite long time, to express his feelings for her.

His messages touch the heart deeply.

“Baby I’m sorry I can’t fulfill my promise to always be there for you.

If you miss me, please remember that i will always watch over you.

No matter where I am, I belong to you forever.

Be safe for me where ever you are.

I love you sweetheart.

Always and forever.”

Aww, isn’t he so sweet ?

I asked him why he did that.

He said he does not want her to wait for him and wondering why he does not contact her anymore if anything bad happens to him.

He adores her very much and he has feelings for her since the day he met her but she already has a boyfriend.

He knows she likes him too and willing to jump on the plane to Jakarta to meet him if he wants too, but since he respects to her boyfriend, he keeps his feelings only with him, without the girl knowing about it.

I did encourage him to tell her about his feelings for her. He refused.

He does not want to ruin the relationship between her and her boyfriend.

That is very kind heart of him. But i do not agree with him.

Because he misses the chance to express his feelings to the girl he loves.

It is not that i asked him to break the relationship between that girl and her boyfriend.

It is more to take a chance to say “I love you” to her, before it is all too late.

If she has the same feelings with him and chooses to leave her boyfriend then it is not my friend’s fault. It is all in her hand, whether she wants to be with her boyfriend or to be with him.

And it is not her fault either. She has the right to choose someone she loves, someone to be with. No matter how complicated the situation is.

If she chooses his boyfriend then my friend knows where his position is. And he can continue his life and move on.

Again, it is the matter of taking the chance.

So he will not regret it someday, about “what if” he said he loves her, or “if only” he said he loves her.

What will happen ? What will she do ? Is it going a happy ending for them ?

He will not know the result if he does not tell her about it.

By the way, my friend landed safely at Sumatra today.

And i am going to encourage him more to pursue his love and for him saying “I LOVE YOU” to that girl.

Wish Me Luck.

A colleague came to me last week, asking for my advice.

It was about his choice between staying in his current company or taking opportunity from other company.

The first thing i did is asking him to make a list from both sides of companies. What the advantages and disadvantages are from both of them.

Here are the results :

1. From current company, he felt that he did not have a room to grow, he could not develop his career anymore.

Meanwhile in new company, he saw that he can actualize himself in career more because there is a lot of opportunity coming.

2. At new company, he needs to face the challenges from new job, has to adapt the new situation and condition and of course has to pass the three months probation in order to be a permanent employee.

In the meantime, he already had a comfort zone in the current company, he had peers that support him and everything was more likely under control.

3. For salary, usually from new company will offer 30% salary rise.

Since he just considered moving to other company with the same job description, the other benefits are still the same.

4. The new company location is near to his house compared to current company.

After making a list, i showed them some alternatives for him to choose :

1. If he wants to get new self actualization and self esteem, then the better choice is to take new opportunity in new company.

And he should know all of the risks coming from it, including the adaptation to new peers and colleagues, new bosses, new rules and policies, also the for the worst scenario which is he does not pass the three months probation.

If he is not a risk-taker and does not want to go out from his comfort zone, then he better stays at his current company.

He should accept the current condition which he said earlier, no opportunity to develop his career for now.

Or if he is willing to look for any information in other departments, maybe there is a vacant position that matches to his needs and capabilities to be his next desire job.

He still needs to adapt with the all new things, but less-riskier since he is still working in the same company.

2. If he aims for the money and higher salary, than he should take the new challenge in new company.

He can use that money motivation to face the obstacles coming from new job.

Every time he faces the problems, he should remembers why he chose that job, and by getting higher income, he can buy more things than before.

3. Location is important factor too for choosing the desire job.

More time he can save if he chooses the new working place compared to the old one.

He can spend more quality time with his family, more time to get rest, more time for himself doing all the activities he wants.

4. The most important thing is listening to his heart.

After all of the break down alternatives earlier, he should listen what his heart says.

Is it going to a new place ? Or stay in current company ?

Whatever it is, he should not be afraid of taking the chance for new opportunity.

Because the good chance is hard to get, and rarely come twice in life.

If he passes it, then he should know all the consequences and no regret of it.

No “what if” or “if only” condition after that.

In the end, we only regret the chances we didn’t take.

Me and my family went to the cinema couple days ago.

About to watch the Ant-Man, led by a charming performance from Paul Rudd and Michael Douglas.

After we got tickets, we took queue to buy snacks and drinks. It was a long queue, but we got our turn finally.

During our order, a woman behind our line was yelling to the lady at the concession stand, asking with her loud voice, why it took so long to serve our order.

I turned around by reflect and looked at her eyes, trying to calm and smile, i told her that we had not finished our order yet.

It is so unbelievable that she even did not want to look me in the eyes, she was starring at the ceiling instead, with her chin up high and she folded her arms as a cover of defense.

If only it happened a year ago, i would be so glad to yell back at her and confronted her. But i am a different person now.

I already made my point telling her the situation, and if she could not accept my explanation, then it would not be my problem.

Thanks to her, i got some lesson learns about this situation :

1. If you do not want to be late watching the cinema, you should prepare all things earlier, maybe 30 minutes until 1 hour prior to the movie.

So if you got stuck on the queuing line to buy snacks and drinks, you still have spare time for it and you will not be late.

2. If you are in a hurry or you cannot make it earlier to the cinema, then enjoy the queuing and take the risk of being late watching the movie.

It is not a matter life or death. It is just a movie anyway.

3. Yelling to other person in public place out loud and then suddenly silent when there is a person confronting her back, are not an elegant thing to do.

I was trying to understand her good intention behind her action, maybe she just could not hardly wait to see her favorite movie, or she was in hurry to go to the restroom after it, or else, who knows.

And it would be so nice if she was just asking nicely to the lady at the concession stand, or to us, whether we could speed up the order so she could not be late watching her movie.

4. Despite of me trying to talk to her nicely and she did not reply me at all, we cannot please all the people we meet in all of circumstances.

No matter how hard we try, there are always people that do not like us or our actions. 

We just can do our best and if some people cannot accept it, it is their choice.

Let haters be haters. There are always haters everywhere.

Last but not least, i found a good quote that fits into this.

“Don’t argue with idiots because they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.” ~ Greg King ~

Do you ever feel hurting so much inside by people that you do not ever want to forgive them ?

I did. I promised to myself many times that i never forgave and forgot of what they did to me.

I spent a lot of time thinking about how i could get some revenges to them.

Then at one point of time, i got some enlightening in my life, suddenly i feel it is not right.

It is just not the right thing to do.

7 Powers of Forgiveness below will give you some good reasons to think about.

1. Detox your mind and your body

By forgiving someone you automatically doing detoxification to your mind and your body.

You let all of negative thinking and bad feeling fly out from your body, leaving only positive thinking and good feeling inside you.

Only take positive things to absorb into your brain.

Always remember that there is always good intention coming from everyone, no matter who they are and what their conditions are.

We just need to put us in their shoes.

Everything has always two side of stories. Be wise and open your mind and your heart for the greater good.

2. Make a peace of mind

You can go to bed every night and sleep tight without thinking about someone that already did bad things to you.

You can do all of your activities every day without concerning them, focus only to yourself and other things that deserve your attention.

Bear in mind that when you think of someone you hate, you only hurt yourself.

That person even never think about you at all. So why bother ?

Love yourself, give your body a peace of mind.

3. Safe time and energy to think about something else instead of getting revenges in bad ways

No need to think about any plans to make them miserable, or take some revenges so they can feel the same with you.

It is time to plan your goals of getting your desire outcomes in the future.

They said success is the best and sweetest revenge. I totally agree with it.

Show them who you really are with your success and your quality.

It will be the best revenge ever !

4. Not carry a burden on your shoulders anymore

Every time you hate someone, you put a burden on your shoulders.

The more the hate feelings you have, the heavier the burden you carry on your shoulders everywhere.

It is time to take them all off your shoulders.

Let go all the bad things from you, throw them away, make your body easily fly and enjoy all the things you do in life.

Fly away and reach the sky !

5. Move on without worrying of looking back to the past

Whatever happened in the past, let it be behind you.

You may look back to the past only to take some good lesson learns from it so you will not do the same mistakes anymore.

And never regret it, everything happens for a reason.

Just accept it and use it as experience to embrace the challenge in the future.

6. Go anywhere without afraid of bumping some enemies at some places

When you hate some people, sometimes you have feelings want to avoid them in any situations and conditions, whether in the store, party or gathering, community or other places you can think of.

It is not nice to have a feeling like that, is it ?

You limit your world of existence by yourself, it is all in your mind that you put yourself in those limiting situations.

By forgiving people you do not like, you will not be afraid anymore of getting some chances meeting them anywhere you go. You can face them easily and if they are not welcoming you, so be it.

It is their problem, not your problem.

The real problem is not the problem itself, but it is our reaction about the problem.

7. Smile more and happy thought

Do you know that some of health problems coming from the unhappy and stressful mind ?

It can reflect to your other parts of your body and affect them as a disease.

It can make you ill if you let your hatred feelings control your mind and wound your heart for so long.

By forgiveness, you can refresh your thought and give your body a relieve.

You can smile more wide open because now you only have a happy thought in you.

No more hatred and you can feel yourself like a brand new !

True forgiveness is when you can say, “Thank you for that experience.” ~ Oprah Winfrey ~

I met this girl at one of my banking experiences. Actually she was one of my team i had been assigned to lead them.

On the first week i saw her doing some activities in the banking hall that actually not parts of her job, and kinda bugging me at that time actually, because our sales achievement was still below target and i had not seen any significant progress from her yet to achieve her individual target.

So after office hour at the end of the week, i asked her to come to my office and discussed about it.

I asked her why she did those things instead of focusing on her targets selling our banking products. Her explanation amazed me.

With her smile she told me that it was one of her strategies to win customer hearts.

She said it is important to build the relationship with the customers first.

Make them happy with her services and make a close bounding between her and her customers.

Make her name being remembered.

In the end, she can offer the banking products without any reluctant from them and she may close the deal without any hard rejection from the customers.

For the greater good.

Doing the sales it is not just being hit and run.

It is more important on after sales services. That the real sales person is.

I had one colleague from previous bank, she was one of the best sales person at that time.

Her secret ? Doing many extra miles to the customers.

What she did were beyond my imagination.

She remembered all of the names of her customer family members and she had a special book which contains the list of their birthday dates, so she could congratulate them when the time came, or sent them birthday cakes and card to entertain.

She knew most of her customers hobbies, interests and other personal things.

She even helped them whenever they needed some information that not related to banking services, like helping them find babysitters for their kids, spread the information for their house selling to other customers, booking airlines ticket and hotel for their vacations, and many more.

The result ? It was remarkable.

Most of her customers were satisfied with her astonishing services.

She could easily sell the products to them. Made her the best sales person in company.

She was happy. Her customers were happy. Everybody was happy.

“Don’t just be the average. Stand out from the crowd. Go the Extra Mile.” ~ Zanetta Jeanne ~